Singing our hearts out!!

Two days ago, My daughter Rani's little friend Kavinaya, asked me, "Rani's mummy, do you also sing and know Sa, Re, Ga, Ma... and I finished the rest of the sargam with her!" She was so chuffed, and beamed at me, and it felt so good that I could put a smile on her face!! My heart was touched,to put it mildly!
I have been mulling over my PURPOSE in life.. and thought about my strengths and talents and using them for something good for children everywhere.... so organising a children's/ young people's/ adults' choir from across the World and India- here in our very own Luton in the UK has been a sign from God, for me.
Rani' homework on music and our research led me to re-discover "Krishna Nee Begane" a devotional song which was made immensely popular by the talented duo- Hariharan ji and Leslie Lewis as COLONIAL COUSINS. (see link below)
I have a decent set of Keyboards from my Dad!) which I can play, a guitar (which I cannot play...yet) and a vast collection of devotional and classical children's and film (animated and others) songs that would inspire us as we start off... I will be getting in touch with Luton in Harmony and the Luton Council of Faiths, once I can organize myself and have got an idea of how many people are interested...

If anyone from across Luton or Bedfordshire is interested in joining me, please send me a message on FB. I intend to do it in the evenings or holidays and there will be no fee- the children's smiles and joy is reward enough! We want to celebrate all cultures, religions, prayers, styles of singing, whether African, South American, Asian, Classical Indian, Karnatic, or Western...
Help spread the word, you never know what it could lead....
In the meantime, make yourselves familiar with these songs (links below) and suggest some more if you like!
Depending on the feedback I get, I'd like to start at our home, and thereafter talk to the Local Community Centre...

Ishwar Allah
Krishna nee begane...baro.

Love and prayers for all,
ruchi

Lessons in Love from the Children of the World....

Yesterday, I was watching my children as I and my husband Raj went about our tasks like cooking, cleaning, laundry and sorting out the home (it was our day off)  The kids played, then fought and fell-out, I had to intervene when things got out of hand with one of them hitting out at the other, who then said she kicked her back in defence and got the first one to scream uncontrollably (see what I mean!?)... Later, after they were in bed and peace prevailed, I was reflecting on them and their nature, my parenting and MY nature...,  That is when it hit me... Shivangi is so much like a mirror; If I am rushed, she feels rushed. If I am calm and joyous, she is the epitome of calm joyousness herself... As my husband gets her ready with me in to mornings for the last two-three weeks, I can 'see' potential flare-up moments and diffuse them before they spark up and ignite my volatile emotions. Everyday is a learning curve.  Shivangi is a great experience! She and her sister make me aware everyday- of my good fortune. Its like being the most-loved child of God- He chooses us to have these experiences in life and it is up to us to learn from them...

Mon, you know what, I always imagine YOU -doing those special things- the little things, with Raina. Our talks over the blog-world have made me a better person and a better parent than I ever was or could have hoped to be.

One thing I witnessed when I moved to Great Britain is the politeness, the courtesy and kindness we extend to all those we come in contact with. If you make a call, the person on the other side will smile and laugh with you, and make you feel at ease straight away. PLEASE, THANK YOU and you're WELCOME come naturally. Culturally, there are many variations, but amongst my own neighbours, friends and family. I have seen Love, concern and hope at all times.
When our kitchen caught fire in 2008, and none of us was at home, neighbours alerted the fire services and TWO fire Brigades came and rescued our home and pet BLAZE from harm. Tracy, our neighbour homed our goldfish, Mr Hassan brought us cups of tea as we watched, shocked; the remains of our kitchen strewn on the front driveway. Our family was out, and I had been at work when the fateful call came. My Charge Nurse instantly let me go home, and as I cycled down the roads, I was thanking the Lord that my husband and Kids had not been home at the time.
It never crossed my mind to bemoan my fate, and feel sorry for myself. Optimism runs through my veins. It has done so since I was born, to two of the most POSITIVE people in my life- My Father and my Late Mother... Dad and Mummy would always be Fair, Just and Honest- with us and others, and their Fairness rubbed off on us kids big-time. We each had our experiences, our lives converged as children of our parents and diverged from our own roles as parents in our adulthood, but whenever we meet, we can all see and support each other's difficulties and shortcomings and I feel re-invigorated when I talk to my Sister or Brother or my many cousins and relatives. My friends at University, and work in India also keep in touch via the wonder of Facebook!
In INDIA, growing up with my family, and many many loving cousins, aunts, uncles and relatives, friends and neighbours, I recollect that WE smile at babies in India , and can start chatting with a couple of people on the opposite berth of the train, in no time. We would swap stories, anecdotes, share food and soon us kids would be friends. So much so that when it was time for either family to leave the train, it would feel as if we were saying goodbye to lifelong friends. 

A Facebook picture by The Idealist (page link)

Today, on facebook, I came across this picture.... It speaks volumes about OUR WORLD and Our 'I' ness. Selfless LOVE is the only thing that can redeem Mankind. There is not, nor should there EVER be any scope for 'negativity' in our lives. If something is going wrong, I begin to look within myself for the crossing wires which caused the 'short circuit' in the first place. If my wires are untangled, and the lines are open, God will flow through and suffuse me and mine with Love...The children of the Ubuntu signify all that should be celebrated in our humanity- our HUMAN -ness. Being HUMAN first and foremost is the most important thing in the world. 

As John Lennon once said, "When I was 5 years old, my mother told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy' They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life."

How does one begin to pare down years of experience, millions of influences and gigabytes of memories inside of us and re-learn the whole business of being HUMAN!!??

The answer lies in our lives. When we have a newborn child in our midst, all of us, even the cynics and pessimists begin to smile. Their tiny fingers curl around our big ones and in that first touch, we see God in their eyes. When we say a child is beautiful, we are actually seeing the  purest, barest human being there ever is. A child brings love, hope and nurturing to its family. It is the promise of a better world for them that we make, silently, to ourselves as we gaze upon their countenance.... Each child is beautiful. Each person, no matter how they are presenting themselves to you, is beautiful. Look beyond the physical and you will see the same essence, the same purity in all of God's creations.... We just need to open our eyes and look inside us... Somewhat like the Dove Real Beauty Sketches show us...(here)

LOVE IS....FOREVER GIVING!

Dearest Monica,
Often times, I wonder at the definition of LOVE....Love -that one simple feeling that envelops your heart when you think of someone or something that means a lot to you.... You begin to smile, your eyes light up and you lose yourself in the feeling for as long as you can! It could have been brought on by listening to the voice of a parent over a long-distance Call, your better-half giving your shoulder a squeeze in a tough situation, a tiny handclasp from your toddler, the whisper of a  memory from your childhood, or even looking at a picture from ages ago....
All this made me think of how do we know it is love!!?

Sai Baba, who we refer to as Swami in our family, always said,

"Love is- giving and forgiving,
Self is- getting and forgetting."

"START the Day with LOVE,
FILL the Day with LOVE,
SPEND the Day with LOVE,
END the day with LOVE,
This is the way to GOD."

Love is the Key

Simple, yet so hard to emulate...
Some of the best experiences in Love (as an adult) that I've been a part of, have been acquired from my memory of My Parents as parents, since I myself became a parent! My two daughters teach me a lot in their interactions with our extended family, in the way they dote on their Daddy and (If I'm lucky!) me too! I feel the urge to write and save my memories for the future- whenever I get the chance to observe them. Living with a Child is a huge responsibility- of Hope , Faith and Values. We need to teach by example, good behaviour and politeness, respect and sharing begins with us Adults and percolates down to the youngest child we may come in contact with. So, teaching and guiding them right from wrong is never easy and yes, learning from them. Children never hold back- with them, what you se is what you get...! If my seven-year-old is mad at me, she lets me know; if she loves me to pieces at another moment, she tells me so too. Kids are like mirrors; they reflect what they see, hear, experience, and live with. If they live with Love, Courage, Hope and Truth, they will be loving, courageous, hopeful and truthful too. Our job, as parents, is to be powerhouses of positive energy around them, and if we do slip up, sometimes, we can always apologise to them in a heartfelt, honest way.
My daughters are forever teaching me about LOVE. They could be in the middle of the most God-awful fight ever and I have to tear them apart but if I tell one of them off, they gang -up on me straight away!
Kids don't carry baggage of feelings, to them, living from day to day is adventure enough without the added burden of suppressed emotions. They vent it out and get it all off their chest and out of their system.
That is why, their love is so valuable, so pure and so strong and overwhelming...
Reading online, I once came across some insightful quotes from children, on what they understood of love:

LOVE ACCORDING TO 4-8 YEAR OLDS!

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:


"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4  "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen," Bobby - age 5

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6

"There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them." Jenny - age 4

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day" Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore," Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - Age 5

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine -age 5  "Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 8

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4  "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her." Bethany - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7

"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
And we think they don't notice....

Hit the Road (vol 1)

One sunny morning, last week, I decided to get on my bike and head out... To get in touch with my solitary side, I guess.... To make sense of things in my life, with the steady, natural rhythm of pushing the pedals..To stop talking and speaking, and to start listening... Because, nothing makes me more aware of myself than the sounds of the road, when I'm on my bicycle.I ride on, at a steady, unhurried pace, soaking in the feeling of being alive... Drinking in, greedily, from the repertoire of nature- her sights, sounds and smells...
If I were a decent artist, I'd draw or paint, If I were a poet, I'd write of her beauty, her freedom and her limitlessness... But as I'm none of those, I just take off, charge myself, live-in-the-moment and enjoy the journey. Lately, this selfsame 'CYCLING' bug has bitten my better half as well, and we both take off on our bikes, riding out when the kids are fed and watered, and safe in their beds, GM (grandmother and general manager!!) keeping an eye and an ear on them from downstairs...
Yesterday, we circled Houghton Regis, and stood around when the rains splashed down, sheltered from a conifer... biking relaxes me like nothing else can, and it reminds me not to abuse my body- since this is the only one I'll ever have!! So, no more late-night snacks, staying up to watch Supernatural on Living TV, (much as I love Dean & Sam!)  or eating mounds of rajma-rice for lunch and dinner...
The one thing I can, and DO is to take a lot of pictures... and it makes for some interesting viewing- in retrospect!
Here's a peek:
Cycling

Happy birthday, Mon!

Dear Mon,
I hope you had a terrific day today and the love of family and friends, near or far, makes it special too! Raina must be thrilled at the prospect of blowing out the candles on your cake, and singing 'happy birthday' to her lovely Mummy!! I always marvel at your contentment and 'living in the moment' spontaneity! Your smiles and your voice, your gardening skills and your observations of Raina's growing-up years...!
You are unique in your optimism, loving and caring beyond measure and kind and supportive to everyone who needs you or reaches out to you. This, I know, from personal experience! Rather than living your life wondering what could have happened, you jumped right in and made things happen for you! Your dedicated hard-work, your talent and your enthusiasm has always been inspiring... Take care and have a fantastic day today!
Miss you!
Love and hugs,
Ruch

A Note in his cupboard...

My husband and I often talk about how we've steadily grown apart. Atleast, I do, while he listens. After I've finished moaning about our lack of 'quality time' together, he gets his ammo sorted, and proceeds to blame my 'sleepiness' (after a whole day spent running from one place to another), hectic schedule (work, kids's schools, their entertainment, routines, my volunteering programme, my studies...ok, ok, ok, MY FACEBOOK, BLOGS n MUMSNET addictions!!) and my inability to tear my attention away from my two brat-daughters even when he's about. I, for my part, complain about the lack of 'romanticism' in our married life, the absence of cuddles on the sofa (for other reason's than disinclination to cuddle on our part!), the lack of intimacy and the total absence of any time for us as a couple....
After a lot many such talks, and seeing no changes in our temperaments, whether singular or collective, I decided to try out my best friend's suggestion. That's you, Mon!! Remember how you told me about leaving post-it notes in H's lunch box, on his tie, near his socks etc??!! Well, I left him some of mine in his cupboard, and boy! Was he surprised!! Today on my break at work, as I picked up my phone to talk to him, I was dumbstruck to find a tender message of thanks from his phone. It made my day, and I'm wearing my 'goofy grin' even now!!
Thank you, Monu, for a terrific idea!!
Notes are something my mother would send my Dad a lot, too! sometimes she'd hide them, sometimes she'd post them via  the post. She often wrote long letters to him when he was away on duty with his Squadron in the IAF, and wait patiently for him to return... Come to think of it, they spent many moons apart- He attended courses, Foreign Trips to Sri Lanka, Larnaca, or commission a new fleet of aircraft (from the erstwhile USSR),  She taught Sanskrit to B.A students at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, and lived on Campus, away from all of us for a year... I truly believe in the old adage: 'DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER'..
Their yearning, their love for each other was like a silent stream, not a gushing, raging river, but a tranquil lake, on whose glassy, mirrored waters I see my childhood reflected. Clean and clear. Safe and Peaceful. I never heard them shout at each other, (or anyone else, for that matter!!) Their marriage was, and is an Ideal Marriage to me... Even in his solitude and 'alone-ness', Dad is not alone... It is as if her soul, her spirit is always in him, around him and he can feel the peace it brings to us all, to see him so detached, yet so affectionate and so mindful of our needs, as his children. I may have said this before, and I will possibly say it again- My Mom and Dad are my ideals in life... They signify what a a marriage is all about...

Happy Birthday, Daughter!

Whenever the birthday of a loved one rolls around, I get ponderous, wistful and, at times, a little bit sad. Just a little bit, though! Last weekend was one such day. What made it extra special and extra poignant is that my first-born turned eight that day. There's something irrevocable and definitive about birthdays. Like time has been stamped and chronicled...so-and-so is now and henceforth eight years and counting....time that has passed on, never to return. All that remains are memories, growing fainter and fainter with the passage of time, save those special details that make memories feel so very much alive...

My first baby...Shivangi. I quite vividly remember the day she was born in all its glorious details...It was a Monday, and a sunny one at that. I had walked home, after being discharged from the hospital that very morning, after a weekend 'under observation'. After reaching home, I cooked and waited for my M-i-L to return from work. As we watched TV that night, I felt an uncomfortable pain around my bump, as if an invisible band was being gradually tightened around my ample middle... Mum asked me if I was all right, and, since I had no clue, I nodded. Later that night, as the discomfort intensified, she told me to take care and get some rest, and to wake her up if I felt any pain. My husband worked afternoon shifts as a restaurant manager, so I called him and we talked about the possibility that tonight was THE NIGHT!! After an excited exchange and numerous text messages to him, I rang the Delivery Suite team and was told to take some Paracetamol and try to relax until the contractions were five minutes apart. When I told my husband Raj, he just jumped up, and said, "Let's go!!" 

I can recollect, with some accuracy, the way the Delivery Suite Midwives settled me in, and the way I held my husband's hand with bone-crushing intensity. (Its a good thing he has always been fit and works out at the gym, come rain or shine; a lesser man would have howled and pulled away as the waves of pain crashed over me with alarming regularity.) It all felt so rushed, and uncomfortable that I felt like saying, "hang on, can we run over this bit again!!??" It left me ill-prepared to use the gas-and-air mask that a nurse told me to breathe with when the pain intensified. Consequently, I managed to deliver my precious first child whilst feeling as if I were being ripped from the inside out. I pushed and pushed and then some more until the searing pain gave way and I felt a warm, wet and soft form escape my body... I craned my neck to catcha glimpse of my child, (all I could see was black hair and a tiny, limp form, face down on the sheets between my knees. Worried and anxious when I did not hear her cries (as I had expected, thanks to the hundred-odd hindi films depicting the birth of a child) my feeling of dread was pushed to the back when the super-efficient midwife wrapped her up in a clean towel and proffered my husband a pair of scissors to cut the cord...With shaking hands, he did just as she instructed, and she lay my baby in my ams for a quick cuddle.... Meanwhile, Senior staff who entered the room (I had no idea who they were and scrambled to preserve the remnants of my dignity) A supportive midwife helped me sit up and I was relieved to see I was decent! The seniors consulted amongst themselves about her low APGAR score, and debated on the next course of action. All this took just a few minutes and soon after her birth, they had a little sterile trolley brought in and were ready to take S down to NIU to be monitored for a few hours.

In the moments following her birth, as the NICU staff whisked her away, my dear husband looked worried sick and torn in two as he brushed away tears with the back of his hand. A nurse plunged a needle into my thigh to give me some vitamin K and another prepared to 'stitch me up'. Late that morning, after an hour of bed rest, and a wash (that made me feel like I was still alive) and being examined and monitored by the wonderful staff, I was wheeled down to see my brand-new baby daughter, who I had only just held in my arms briefly, until that point... (My husband and his mum had gone home after seeing to it that both of us were okay and resting.) She looked so tiny, so fragile and yet so much her own person!! Her spiky, jet-black hair stood out in all directions,  her eyes tighly shut, an unmistakable frown (her Dad's) imprinted her forehead as she lay on her tummy, under the warm light in an incubator. As she slept, I looked and looked at her, unable to fight the urge to hold her close, yet afraid to do so, as she clearly, needed the drip and the warmth. I debated with myself and continued to look at her until a kindly nurse asked me if I'd like to hold her!!?? So, as mother and daughter were finally re-united outside the womb, a new chapter of our lives began! A chapter that said, "Hello!!"

In all our interactions so far in her young life, I try and recollect that first meeting and that first touch... As she snuggles up to me at night and falls asleep to this day, her breathing becoming regular and her little hands clasping me in different places, I thank God for the gift of motherhood...